A Mental Health Conversation
Mental Health is an uncomfortable topic for so many, yet today I want to share my mental health journey as a college student. Please keep in mind: everyone’s struggles are deeply personal. We all carry wounds and deserve to have agency over our unique and individual narratives. However, I believe that we must continue to have these uncomfortable conversations. In order to end the stigma surrounding mental health, we must be more honest with each other about what we have been or are currently going through.
Sophomore year of college, I struggled with depression. Everyone I knew at the time assumed I was, at my core, a super happy person, but the truth is that I wasn’t. I was not ok. Months went by and depression engulfed me. I tried to hide it desperately, but it would only make things much worse. It wasn’t until I hit my lowest low that I made the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, to ask for help. I started going to therapy.
The first day of therapy I found myself spilling out my life to the woman in front of me. I ended up sobbing, unaware of how much I had been holding onto for so long. Some of my unhappiness originated in high school. Fights I had gotten into with my brothers, failed relationships, or even grades I had gotten- all of these things had all piled up for so long. Upon leaving the counseling center, I remember feeling the sun on my face for the first time in months. I continued therapy and my life significantly improved. My depression greatly informed how I viewed myself; leading me to toxic relationships where I allowed others to place little value on me. Therapy gave me the space to admit my true feelings and the courage to step away from unhealthy friendships. To be honest, getting better is really hard, but that’s also why it is so easy for people to lie about things like this. I wasn’t ok, and I wasn’t ok with that. It’s not easy to run a fashion magazine and not be a size 0. It’s not easy to go on Instagram and see the world praising perfection when I’m not perfect. It’s not easy to grow up in a house of geniuses and be more interested in painting than politics. It’s frustrating to even admit that sometimes I feel that even though I love myself, I feel like the world doesn’t. It makes loving yourself so much harder. I’ve frequently wondered how I could possibly be depressed or sad when I do live such a beautiful life. I have parents who love me unconditionally and friends who have gotten me through my worst days. I have a good life, so it’s hard to explain how those things sometimes don’t matter when you’re struggling through darkness.
May is Mental Health Awareness month. For the first time in a lot of people's lives, this quarantine is making them feel anxious or depressed, or more so than they’ve ever felt. It’s so easy to feel alone and forget the love that the outside world used to give you. Everyday, I tell myself that we aren’t stuck in our houses, we are safe in our houses. We are not only keeping ourselves safe, but keeping others safe by social distancing. This is our civic duty to one another. The world will be back someday with buzzing coffee shops and new places to explore. We will hold hands, kiss strangers and loved ones alike, we will celebrate birthdays, practice religion together, and return to our favorite restaurants where they know our orders by heart. Hold onto that. If you or someone you know is struggling right now, show them love. Check in on them. Send them flowers, cookies or a cameo from their favorite celebrity to remind them that they are not, nor will they ever, be alone.
During this difficult time there are resources out there for mental health, a few I would recommend checking out are, Headspace (2 week free trail), MindShift CBT, TalkSpace, and Breakthrough.
I started The Point to be a positive outlet and light in my life and everyday since I started it, that’s what it’s been. Thank you for reading.
I love you all :)
xx, Eleanor Davis, Editor in Chief