You’re in Control!
By Sofia Tedesco
When our lives take an unexpected turn, we tend to pick on smaller issues we may struggle with on a daily basis. Whatever obstacle this might be, there are two questions that help me.
What can I control in my life?
What is out of my hands?
With these questions in mind, I have designed a list of ten things I know I can control when everything seems to be “out of control”.
Making my bed.
This is the first thing that starts my day. I know I can control the way my bed and my room look. Keeping my room clean and organized creates a stress-free environment, where I can associate relaxation with my state of mind if I ever need a break.
2. Creating a to-do list.
Since starting college, I’ve noticed that planning out my assignments helps to keep me organized (obviously). But more importantly, creating a general list of things to do helps me visualize and set small goals for the day. It is important to have these small goals, because it rewards us every time we check an item off that list, no matter how small.
3. Eating breakfast.
This is something that I have found rare among my friends. No one seems to eat breakfast. If you end up following this list, this is an item I highly recommend. Starting with a good breakfast sets the tone for the rest of your day. My breakfast always includes my favorite foods- eggs, potatoes, fruit, or avocado toast.
4. Moving my body.
Exercise has been proven to reduce stress levels, and accomplishing a daily workout can set you up to achieve other goals you set for yourself, little by little. Recently, I have been walking more around the neighborhood, during which I’ll listen to music, a podcast, or I’ll call a friend that I haven’t spoken to in awhile.
5. Listening to music.
This has helped me so much when I feel stressed. I’ll put on a playlist that makes me happy when I’m not doing great and it instantly makes me feel a little better. Being upset helps us appreciate the good moments more, like the way we feel when listening to music.
6. Reducing screen time.
Reducing screen time has been proven to increase sleep levels, which is important for managing those moments of stress and anxiety. Fixating on social media apps when you’re feeling out of control in your life seems to be “Plan A”. However in reality, it is just creating a buffer between accepting those emotions, and learning how to face them. I’m not saying to not use social media, simply to be mindful of moderation. You can do this by setting up screen times for the apps you use the most, and watch the difference it makes.
7. Reading.
If I’m being honest, I struggle with this, but I’m trying to be better by reading a little every day. One book I definitely recommend is 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest.
8. Talking to a friend or family member.
It is important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Knowing that you can talk about whatever you want with someone else establishes a healthy space for you and your relationships.
9. Do not try to fix people.
Our mind tricks us into thinking we can change or “fix” people. This is actually something we cannot control, but subconsciously we convince ourselves that we can. This often manifests in trying to solve issues that are not ours. I have come to understand that when I cannot control what is happening in my own life, I cannot distract myself from that by solving other people’s problems.
10. Writing down thoughts.
When I seem to be spiraling, I open my notes app and start to write any and all of my thoughts. This helps me look back at my emotions and truly assess whether I am reacting to something, or responding. Understanding this difference helps me navigate my emotions in stressful situations.
Next time you feel like things are getting out of control, I hope you’re able to find one or two things on this list as a guide to finding some peace. Remember, you are only in control of so many things, and it is okay to let life take its course.