“It’s Life Changing”

Life Lesson on Abroad: A Letter From Me to You on the Plane Ride Home

I have debated back and forth on putting this together as an article and sharing it with all of you who are reading, because at the time, this letter to myself was something so vulnerable and personal to me. But after some time, I’ve realized that my experience might not have been as unique as I thought it was. This is a letter for all who may have put on a smile or brave face for the pictures, but was facing one of the toughest challenges and thinking you were the only one that was feeling this way. Because I am telling you now, you are not alone. Below is something I wrote with just about two weeks left of my Florence semester abroad, and then read the letter to myself during my plane ride home back to America.

“Where do I even begin? I guess here’s where I will start: First of all, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. You have made it- officially. And trust me, I know it was hard, oh how I know. I felt this urge to write my thoughts down at this very moment, just under 2 weeks before the time you are reading this letter on December 14th. Right now, you are on one of your plane rides home, back to the United States after 4 months of living your life in Florence, Italy. That time was 108 days. I know that this experience was unexpected, both in the hardest but also in the greatest of ways. I know there were times where you thought of how impossible it could be to stay in Florence one more day. Not everyone can do this, but you did. While I’m known to usually stay positive about most things, I’m not going to lie about how this time here may have been more of a difficult one for you than others. But even through the tears, the struggles, the late and sleepless nights, the long travel days of plane/train ride thoughts, look at yourself now. One way to look at things is to see how much you have grown. While being abroad, you have discovered and learned things about yourself that you never could have possibly known without this experience. No matter how deep down you dug inside, only this experience over the past 4 months would allow you to explore and learn these lessons of life. And as I say, everything happens for a reason. This time was meant to be, and while you still may be wondering why the true reason you decided to study abroad was, one day you will know. You will look back on these times, and smile when thinking about how it helped to shape you into the person you become, and are now.

1. Without change, there is no growth.

Change isn’t something that comes easy to you- there, I said it and it’s true. But life is all about changes, as you have learned. And it is so important to accept change to keep going along, and to learn how to deal with change in positive ways. Change allows for you to grow- Growth is essential in life, because what good is someone or something that stays the same forever? It allows for a build of character and a type of growth that only makes you stronger, and more able to deal with the bigger changes that are to come in life. I truly believe that this change of life for a few months was more than important for you. It has helped you- you’ve learned that things can’t always be the same, and that things can come and go. You’ve learned that it is sometimes best to just go with the flow- identify, understand, breathe, accept, adjust, and keep on keeping on:)

2. Independency is essential.

Time to yourself is something that you always have liked. But especially during college years when you are constantly surrounded by friends and family (when practically not sleeping in a room by yourself for 4 years), you may have overestimated your ability to be independent. Here you are now, able to say you traveled across different countries by yourself. You spent days by yourself in Italy and found ways to be productive and enjoy what’s around you in a “one-on-one” type of way. You had to fend for yourself at times, when dealing with emotions and troubles where the time change made it difficult to make a call when you may have needed it the most. But you have learned how to deal, and discovered new ways to help yourself through things/solve problems, on your own. And that is more than important as you grow older.

3. Always find time to move your body, because it helps your mind and soul.

I love how you still found time to move your body when you needed a way to breathe and let things out- even with this requiring you to explore new ways of working out and getting just even the smallest of a sweat in. Running is a way to heal and can be done for free, really anywhere, even with some obstacles (those cobblestone roads and bikers were a challenge!). It is a time where no thinking is needed, just time to move. A time to breathe. Always remember this about your body and mind when you find yourself stuck. Just get up, move, and run it out, just like you did on some of your hardest days in Florence.

4. It’s ok to say no- avoid the FOMO.

Something you know and that you have often experienced back at Fairfield, is the urge to always keep going, going, going- because of the fear of missing out! But while being abroad, you’ve learned that you don’t always have to say yes to going out, to doing things that may be too much in the moment, or things you just don’t want to do. You have learned to listen to yourself and know when you need time to rest.

5. The great privilege of traveling the world... 9 countries WOW!

Traveling the world isn’t something that many people get to say they did. You have traveled around Italy (the coast and the “wine countries” outside of Florence), Croatia, Germany, the Czech Republic, Greece, France, Ireland, Switzerland and England! You’ve experienced so many cultures, different ways of life, currencies, views, and people from all over the world- and you’ve found a love for some places that were unexpected- and that is just SO cool. Just wait until you can reminisce and tell stories of your world travels in your 20’s in the years to come!

6. A special appreciation for your home and family.

This one I’m sure is self-explanatory. I know you have missed your family and home, but this time being quite far away from Rhode Island has allowed you to appreciate the place you were born in and the people you have grown up with who bring you so much joy and love. You made it through being away from your first big family holiday- Thanksgiving. There are going to be times when you think about where you might want to move in the future, and now you know how it feels to be pretty far away from the comfort of family/New England- don’t let this experience scare you away from taking on new ventures, but always remember this feeling and appreciation you now understand from being so lucky to have grown up with family being so close by.

7. How lucky are you to have chosen the “right” college that brings you so much happiness, and now call a second home?

You are lucky to have Fairfield and Fairfield is lucky to have you. Not everyone has this college experience, and I always will be forever grateful to have chosen Fairfield University. You have met your people, and this experience allowed you to grow closer with distance, as one may call it. I know you missed 06824 and FFBR this semester, but don’t worry or wish time away- you will be back soon enough to see all your favorite people and things!

8. A new perspective and appreciation for history, art and architecture.

Take a moment to think about how amazing it was being able to see all the artwork in the Louvre in Paris. I know that this was one of the most incredible experiences for you, especially with your love for art and how pieces can “move” a person. This experience would not have been possible at such an early age without abroad. Always remember how you looked at that artwork for the first time, and how it moved you – don’t ever forget that. And remember the new appreciation you have found in the amazing art and architecture of Florence that it has been built upon, because truly, there isn’t anything quite like it and it’s history.

9. Social media is a highlight reel- it most definitely does not usually show ALL of life’s moments.

I know how difficult it was at times to see everyone back home seemingly “having the time of their lives” in their normal environments. But remember when you posted, and everyone said things about “how happy you look” or “your thriving” (even if you posted on the train right after some tears)? They too are only seeing posts from the best of moments, and have no clue about the hard times you experienced. Not all things online and on social media is what it seems, so enjoy it with a grain of salt. Use it as a way to look and smile at things as momentary beautiful times chosen to be shared with the world, instead of in a wishful, negative-comparison way.

At the end of this journey, be gentle with yourself. You have come so far. and don’t forget about this time in your life, although I know you won’t. You only get to be in your 20s, and studying/traveling abroad once. Today, the moment you land in Boston Logan Airport, it will become something in the past. Be sure not wish any of that time away nor think of regrets. Be thankful and appreciative of the moment you are in, now. Remember all the people you met and formed new bonds with. The experiences and struggles you had now are remembered just as one time in your life that helped make you who you are right now, in this moment. Everything over the past 4 months, as a 20-year-old girl, has been its own type of “beautiful”. You have learned that while you think you know so much, there is still an infinite amount that has yet to be learned, and so many more people to meet and open your heart up to in this big world. You are changed- more patient, more cultured, more worldly, more accepting. And I am so proud. Now, take a moment, close your eyes, breathe deep, and look out the window of this last plane ride. Put on a good song, and prepare yourself for the moment you are looking forward to, and for all the lovely moments to come when you arrive back in the place you call home.

XO.

Lots of Love, Caroline in Florence”.